A Note About Body Shaming in Light of Recent Events
I just need to get this out of my system.
Whether you know why body shaming is in the spotlight recently or not doesn’t matter, because the instigator does not deserve more attention than she’s gotten thus far. But what does deserve attention is the way people feel entitled to police other individuals’ bodies.
First of all, let me start with this: everyone has a right to their own opinion, and thanks to the country we live in, everyone has a right to voice their opinion. Even if it’s unpopular, bigoted, prejudice, or rooted in hate. In fact, hate speech is protected by the first amendment, the exception being fighting words that can instigate immediate violence, usually directed at a specific individual. But that only means that they aren’t going to get arrested. Whomever spews hateful ideas still has to deal with social consequences, whatever they may be. Your audience also doesn’t have to put up with it, and you should be ready for backlash.
Another thing to consider is that, contrary to popular belief, the Internet is not the public sphere. When you agree to the terms and conditions of using a website (you know, that checkbox you blindly click), you’re agreeing to follow their rules or risk getting censored/banned/penalized.
With that said, I do believe people have an obligation to consider the social consequences before using a platform to spread potentially harmful ideas. Such as with body shaming.
Our bodies are policed from early in our youth. Images of and messages about what is considered an acceptable body, how to display it, and how to feel about it are unavoidable in mainstream media. And the thing is, fat people aren’t made the butts of jokes because of their health. They’re not depicted as smelly because of their health (sorry, since when is smelling like sausages a symptom of weight related issues? Oh right, never). They’re not depicted as lonely or stupid because of their health. These stigmas are based in the standard of what has been deemed aesthetically pleasing to the masses, which has been perpetuated by media for years.
So veiling hurtful comments as genuine concern is, quite frankly, bull. Because one, why do you think anyone else’s, let alone a stranger’s, health is any of your concern? And two, if you were actually concerned with the obesity rate in our country, you would know that making people feel bad about their bodies is actually the worst and most ineffective way to make them change. Anyone who loses weight because they were shamed into it most likely has an unhealthy relationship with their body, and may have more of a chance to develop eating disorders or other dangerous habits to feel better about themselves.
There are so many causes of being overweight or obese that cannot be fixed by simply “putting down the fries.” First off, there are those who have medical issues that cause weight gain or inhibit weight loss. And, what do you know, you’re not going to be able to tell if they have such a condition by just looking at them. Some people turn to food as a means of coping with serious trauma in their lives. Still can’t tell by looking at them. Some overweight people may even be at their healthiest after making some life changes, or they were healthy from the get go! Can’t tell by looking at them. Some thin people suffer from body dysmorphia and are engaging in an eating disorder to be thin. Nope, can’t tell from looking at them. Cheap and quick food is often unhealthy, and that’s all some people can afford. Still. Can’t. Tell. From. Looking. At. Them.
In short, not only do you have no idea what’s going on with someone’s health from their outer appearance, but it’s also not any of your business and just plain rude to address it without being invited to the conversation. For better or for worse, you have no authority over someone else’s body.
Overweight people are systematically oppressed. Our society promotes recklessly that thinness equates to happiness. An overweight individual could literally go their whole life without someone telling them directly that they are lesser because of their body type, and chances are they will have already felt that way anyway just by existing among the rigid standards of our society. But, as it is, most overweight people will be ridiculed in person for their bodies. I was laughed at by my peers throughout my youth for being overweight. They didn’t give two shits about my health.
I’m not mad at a woman for sharing her opinion. Who is she to tell me what to do with my body, or how I should feel? But, I’m disappointed in a woman who thought it was okay to tear people down for her own benefit ($$$). I’m disappointed in a woman who addresses her audience, made up of people of all ages, and perpetuates negative self esteem and body image. I’m disappointed that she did not consider the fact that younger media consumers can either take this to heart, or use it to keep others down. I’m disappointed that while traditional media already instills these beliefs in people, a digital content creator chose to still conform to the “here’s what’s wrong with you” perspective of content. Because while she’s recording her message looking at a camera, her words will sting and be taken personally by many. I pity the fact that she had to resort to least-common-denominator, effortless “humor” to earn her fifteen minutes of fame that she’s so desperate to have (who’s lazy, again?). Also, satire isn’t spewing hurtful comments for six minutes. Bye, Felicia.
Your body is your own. It is a vessel that carries you through life. Its shape and size does not dictate the amount happiness, success, or love you deserve. Its shape and size does not dictate whether or not it is up for public discussion. You are the boss of your own body.
Thank you for your post.
I’ve been fat shamed by a smoker at work because he was concerned over my health. I’ve been fat shamed by a guy — again because of concern for my health — who passed out at work over the stress of his upcoming nuptials. Both of these incidents occurred when I was a size 8 and with a BMI that was well within normal limits.
After my father died, I gained a lot of weight. I’m now in my mid forties and a size 16 — with perfect blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol. Wrapping prejudice and hate in a blanket of false concern is just BS.
Thank you again for calling attention to this.
Exactlyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! This is the exact point that I try to make. Fat shaming is EASY for people because it’s shown on the outside, but it doesn’t indicate everything going on inside. Thanks so much for reading and sharing, Amie.
You are forgetting one big thing though: if your doctor tells you that your weight is physically unhealthy, they aren’t trying to shame you, they’re trying to keep you alive. It’s one thing entirely to be OK with your body image, but if it gets to the point that it might kill you, maybe you should put down the super-sized meal with a diet coke.
I’m not talking about doctors– doctors absolutely have the authority to talk about your health to you because that’s what they are there for. I’m talking about people on the street/internet/society that have no such medical degree yet still assume they know what’s best for strangers. Thanks for your input!
This whole thing has me so upset. Curvy girls are finally getting the love they deserve and then this. I hate how much attention she is getting for it. So happy to see body positivity for all bodies, proud of you for being brave and taking a stand! xx
Thank you so much Bethany. I don’t know why other people’s happiness and improving self esteem is so threatening to some. She unfortunately got exactly what she wanted, but at least there are enough people turning it into a learning opportunity and speaking out against her message. 🙂
I LOVE THIS! Thank you so much for writing such a positive and empowering article. Keep ’em coming! This issue has been on my mind a lot lately too. You are beautiful! Thank you!
xo Madeleine
http://www.seattlestylista.com
Thanks, Madeleine! I appreciate it.
Brava! Thank you. 🙂 <3
<3<3 I just needed to get it out
It’s people like you who make this world a better place 🙂 -Sadaf
Thank you, Sadaf. I just wish people harbored less hate and judgement for others and learned to be accepting and empathetic!
Eversince I becaome more aware of this and stop being a victim myself, I have come to love myself and I urge others to do the same. Exactly ehat you said 🙂 -Sadaf
I’m so glad for you! Being comfortable in your own skin is the best feeling.
YES! Yes a million times over. You said all of this so intelligently and you are so, so right! People need to mind their own business.
Haha, thank you so much Margo. I tried. I often don’t gather my thoughts on topics like this until the topic has blown over because I get flustered easily so I knew I needed to just get everything organized and written down 😛
Bravo. Well said Miranda. <3
<3 <3
*wildly applauds* You know my feelings about the subject, so I won’t go on again in this post.
If this country were truly worried about heavy people’s health, they’d spend their time lobbying insurance companies to cover weight loss programs the same as they do recovery for drug addicts, alcoholics, and smokers. They wouldn’t be wasting it making people feel bad. If shaming overweight people worked, we’d all be skinny!
Girl I was wondering when you were gonna show up to the convo 🙂 PRECISELY. If people are ACTUALLY worried then they would be productive instead of destructive. So so so so true. Thanks always for stopping and showing support <3
Thank you for speaking for so many of us. <3
Miranda, WOW! This post is so well written and I give you all the props in the world for being able to share your opinion in such an educated and rational way. I shared this, and I hope so many of my friends can see this and learn from your post.
Thank you so much Cassie. It’s hard for me to write about things like this because it’s so easy to become flustered and emotional. But I just needed to get it out 🙂 Thanks for sharing, and commenting, and for your support.
<3
<3
What a great post. Written so eloquently. I agree, it is so wrong the way ‘fat’ people are looked at by so many. It’s loathesome. I saw a photo of Kim K when she was pregnant, compared to a photo of The Penguin. I couldn’t believe the comments. I was shocked at how unbelievably rude people were. And even if she wasn’t pregnant, so what if she’s not a size 0?? It was appalling. What little class people have. And as much as I don’t like the woman or anything she does, she sure has more class than every person who put her down in that post!
On the same token, I AM one of those people that geniunely worries about people’s health. I don’t fat shame them, because it’s not about looks. But I don’t like it if they don’t take care of their bodies or their health. And it’s not just over weight or obese peope, but that person who, with every fast food burrito, is putting more and more strain on their heart and vessels. That bugs me. But because it’s killing them, and taking a toll on our health care. Being ignorant of your health is not a cause I can get behind. But, like I said, and you inadvertently said, that has little to do with size.
Maybe one day we’ll get there. So many ladies are working so hard at it. I love reading Kelsey Miller’s posts on Refinery, she does the #antidietproject 🙂 She’s hilarious, and awesomely insightful.
Yes! And people who are legitimately concerned with the health of our nation as a whole can work to make more healthy food accessible, or implement nutrition programs in schools, or even make a nutritionist covered in health care plans. Thanks for your input Miki, loved reading it!
AMEN. Beautifully stated, Miranda.
Thank you, Brianna 🙂